


Themself

by korichiro



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Blowjobs, F/F, F/M, Gender Dysphoria, Genderfluid, Genderfluid Character, Heterosexuality, M/M, Multi, Rimming, Talk about sexual things, Transgendered Character, genderfluid Zayn, pansexuality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-19
Updated: 2016-08-19
Packaged: 2018-07-26 21:20:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7590862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/korichiro/pseuds/korichiro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn meets Harry as a girl, but will Harry be OK with their gender when all is revealed?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Themself

 “Where’s Perrie?” Eleanor asked after Zayn had settled down on the sofa. Zayn shrugged, smiling a little, and took in how both their friends had girls in their arms. They missed that already, but it hadn’t been like that with Perrie for so long, they couldn’t even remember when they’d gone from a relationship to friendship, really.

“We broke up”, they said.

“Oh no! What happened?” Danielle asked, eyes wide. Zayn fiddled with their wristband, which was currently half turned over.

“I mean, they were mostly friends with her towards the end, Dani”, Liam said, looking like his girlfriend had missed an important point.

“Oh”, Danielle said, looking thoughtful, “I guess so, but I just really didn’t see that coming. They’ve been together with Perrie for so long!”

“It’s been forever”, Eleanor nodded.

“Why are you smiling?” Louis asked with a grin, though, and made Zayn smile a bit brighter.

“She said she wasn’t into girls”, they said.

“You’re happy because she wasn’t into you?” Liam asked. Zayn shook their head.

“They’re happy because she acknowledged their gender”, Louis said, rolling his eyes. Zayn nodded.

“I mean, everybody uses correct pronouns nowadays, which is great, and this wristband you got me for my birthday is great. But it still sometimes feels like people are just, you know, humouring me. Playing along in a game I invented, or something”, they said. Immediately, Louis and Liam, as well as Eleanor and Danielle, started reassuring them, and they smiled down at their black-and-white wristband.

 

It had been close to a month since Zayn had broken up with Perrie. Before, it had been mostly Perrie who’d helped her with her make-up and hair, but today she was getting ready with just Eleanor and Danielle. It wasn’t as awkward as she’d thought it would be, and anyway, she could mostly do everything by herself nowadays.

What did feel awkward, was the fact that she had spent yesterday talking about the party with the guys, and today she’d woken up feeling more like a girl than in a few weeks, so much so that she’d had to flip her wristband over to the white side. When she’d shown up at Louis’, it had taken everyone a while to notice, but mostly she was okay with being called ‘they’ whenever someone wasn’t sure.

When she was ready, and emerged from the bathroom along with the other girls, giggling and throwing their hair, angling for compliments from Louis and Liam, the guys grinned at her. Whenever she was a girl, they flirted with her and basically treated her like just any other girl.

“God it’s hard to believe you’ve actually got nothing on your chest”, Liam blurted out when drunk, sometimes. His eyes most often strayed to her top anyway. Louis was usually eyeing her skirts, shaking his head.

“How are your bum and legs so much more gorgeous than most girls?” he lamented when drunk, earning playful glares and smacks from Eleanor.

Although Zayn was fine with using her own name, as it was kind of androgynous, it was fun when Louis had started to call her Veronica sometimes, so now it had stuck, and mostly her friends called her that when she was clearly a girl.

The party was awesome. Now that she wasn’t together with Perrie anymore, she didn’t have to pretend to just hang out with her as friends and push away people that tried to hit on her. That had probably been one of the most annoying things in their relationship, for both of them.

Another thing was that Zayn had never actually noticed people looking at her, since she’d been with Perrie and hadn’t looked around much. Now she noticed lots of guys were looking, and even hitting on her, and since she was pansexual, she was beginning to think maybe she might actually give a guy a go for a change.  After all, she’d basically only been with Perrie until now.

“Hey, Veronica!” Louis yelled, somewhere near enough he wouldn’t have needed to yell, but that was Louis for you. Zayn turned and grinned at him, then noticed he was with someone new. Actually two someones, as one was pulling another one along, making them stumble.

“Veronica, this is Niall and his friend Harry”, Louis introduced, “you already met Liam, this is Veronica, my other best mate.” Zayn shook both guys’ hands.

“This the Irish lad that started working with you last week?” she asked.

“That’s me”, Niall said with a wide grin.

“Where do you work then?” Zayn asked Harry, to be polite.

“I’m a photographer”, Harry drawled quite slowly, “I’ve been doing photos for the magazine for a while but haven’t run into Louis yet. It was through me Niall heard about the job opening.”

“Oh, that’s cool”, Zayn said.

“Veronica’s been my best mate since we were kids. Used to run around naked in each other’s back yards. Liam joined in when we were around thirteen, but I guess we were mostly wearing clothes by that point”, Louis was explaining. He always sounded insanely proud of being Zayn and Liam’ friend, and that always made Zayn feel warm.

“Congratulations”, Zayn said after a glance at the boys, “you got them thinking about you and me naked together.” Louis scrunched up his nose.

“Oh, mates, no”, he said, shaking his head, making everybody laugh. Harry and Niall, who had momentarily lost their tongues, both kept glancing down at Zayn’s skirt. Louis turned the conversation to work for a bit, and Zayn relaxed into the conversation, noting every now and then both Harry and Niall’s eyes on her body. She bit her lip to hide a smile. Now that she was actually paying attention to people’s attention to her, she felt like her self-esteem was skyrocketing.

After a few hours of conversation, Liam and the other girls joining them, Harry and Niall already felt like a solid part of their group. Louis, who’d been singing Niall’s praises, was ecstatic when they all made plans to meet up next weekend for some FIFA and beers at Louis’ place.

Niall kept kissing Harry’s cheek and sitting close to him, so at some point Danielle actually asked what had been on Zayn’s mind for a while.

“Are you guys together?”

Niall and Harry burst out laughing, shaking their heads and collapsing into a heap of giggles.

“No way in hell”, Niall said, “I mean, we did our bit of kissing practise years back, but that’s definitely it.”

“Niall’s straighter than an arrow”, Harry supplied.

“Yeah, man, no matter how I tried, dick just doesn’t do it for me”, Niall grinned.

“You tried?” Liam spluttered, “never occurred to me to try it like that.” Louis nodded. Niall shrugged, but everyone moved to a different subject soon enough.

Zayn got a message from Perrie then, and smiled a bit at her phone as she typed one back. Perrie was out with some friends, and had sent him a picture of a guy, asking if she approved. After Zayn had been engrossed in her phone for a while, chuckling at Perrie, Louis, who was sitting closest to her, nudged her a bit.

“That Perrie?” he asked. Zayn nodded with a grin.

“She’s asking if I approve of this hunk of muscle who’s been hitting on her all night”, she said, showing Louis the picture. Louis grinned.

“Who’s Perrie?” Niall asked.

“Veronica’s ex-girlfriend”, Liam said.

“Oh”, Harry and Niall both said, sounding surprised. Zayn glanced up at them with a slight frown.

“Never occurred to me, sorry”, Niall grinned.

“But that’s hot”, Harry drawled with an equally wide grin. Zayn glanced at Louis when he groaned and rolled his eyes.

“Yeah we’re very queer friendly here, just so you know”, he said.

“Glad to hear that”, Harry said.

“Harry’s sexual preference is ‘yes please’”, Niall said with a grin.

“Mine too”, Zayn said with a grin as well.

“Mine three”, Eleanor piped up, making Zayn and Liam turn around, surprised. Eleanor blushed a bit, and Louis grinned at her, pulling her closer.

“Finally figured it out?” Zayn asked gently. Eleanor nodded with red cheeks.

“I mean I’ve known I was curious… then I figured there were more than two genders, and then it was a mess for a while”, she said.

“Perrie actually helped me with that a lot”, Eleanor said, glancing at Zayn. Zayn nodded.

“She pan, too? I’m really liking this conversation”, Niall said, making everyone laugh.

“No, she’s straight. Just took her a while to figure that out”, Zayn said, smiling lopsidedly. Harry frowned.

“She was your ex, though”, he said.

“Yeah, like I said, took her a while”, Zayn grinned.

The conversation moved to other topics after that, and after some more drinking, the girls wanted to go dance, so everyone sort of found their way to the dance area after a while. Zayn ended up dancing with both Harry and Niall, enjoying the flirting, but keeping it down a bit with Niall, since he was straight.

Zayn did end up snogging with Harry, though, and when Louis pulled her off him when it was time to go, she suddenly felt really bad about it.

“Fuck”, she kept repeating on the way home.

“Don’t worry about it. You’ve ended up snogging us, too, before”, Liam pointed out. Zayn shrugged. She already had a huge crush on Harry, but she didn’t want to say anything, and she was terrified about what would happen when Harry found out about her.

 

As it turned out, Harry found out about him already the next weekend, since Zayn was definitely a guy that Saturday. He dressed up in his usual clothes, made sure his wristband was on the black side, then took a deep breath and left for Louis’ place.

Outside the door, he took another fortifying breath, but Harry and Niall weren’t there yet.

“Oh, great, mate, we can have a proper lads’ night now”, Louis said when he took in the wristband.

“Aren’t the girls here?” Zayn asked as he settled in on the sofa with Liam, who was popping some beers open.

“Nah, they figured they’d go shopping”, Liam said. Zayn nodded, nervous as hell still. He took a long swig of his drink. He was sure it hadn’t been just a drunken snog for Harry either, that there’d been some real attraction there, since he was pretty sure Harry wouldn’t want to make a new friendship awkward by snogging someone in the group like that, on the first night.

“Not that it’s different when you’re Veronica”, Louis said suddenly. Zayn turned to frown at him, then realised that he was referring to his earlier comment.

“Nah, I get it. Feels a bit different if one of the lads isn’t actually a lad”, he said, with a grin. Louis bent down to peck his cheek, then patted it fondly.

Just then the doorbell rang, and Louis squealed as he hurried to open the door. Zayn took another deep breath, and found Liam’s hand in his.

“Sorry, didn’t even realise”, Liam said with a sympathetic smile, “don’t worry, they’ll be fine with it.”

“Still time to lock myself into the bathroom and sneak out while you’re all distracted”, Zayn pointed out. Liam grinned at him and squeezed his hand.

“Oh who’s this then?” Niall asked as he made his way into the room. Zayn glanced up. He met Harry’s eyes, and Harry’s jaw dropped open a bit.

“Oh”, he said.

“This is Zayn”, Louis said.

“Oh this is Zayn? Thought we were going to meet him at the party”, Niall smiled.

“You did”, Zayn pointed out. Niall’s frown only lasted a moment, then he burst out laughing.

“Bloody hell, I’m so sorry about that”, he said, sitting down.

“So we’ve basically been referring to you as her”, Harry started as he sat down next to Zayn, taking one of the beers Louis offered them both.

“Today it’s he”, Louis informed him, “and if it’s not clear, you can check the wristband.” Zayn lifted his wrist up and showed the boys how it turned.

“So it’s he or she? And, um, Veronica or Zayn?” Niall asked, leaning in a bit.

“He, she or they. And it’s always Zayn, but I don’t mind Veronica. Louis came up with it, and it stuck”, Zayn said with a tentative smile.

“Mostly they”, Liam pointed out. Zayn glanced at him and realised they were still holding hands.

“Guess so, but I’m mostly fine with he then too”, he said, squeezing Liam’s hand and then letting go. Liam pouted at him, and he grinned back.

“But it’s your real hair”, Harry was saying, eyeing the bun Zayn had put his hair up in. Zayn smiled and nodded.

“I like long hair”, he said, taking a sip of his beer.

“God, I’m so jealous”, Niall said, shaking his head as he took a sip, too. Zayn frowned at him.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“That you’re so bloody gorgeous no matter what gender you’re expressing?” Louis asked with a raised eyebrow. Zayn rolled his eyes at him.

“You’re just angling for compliments on your perfect bum, now. Relax, you’re gorgeous too”, Liam said, and Louis grinned, turning around to show his butt off with a shake, before finally sitting down. Everybody laughed.

“No, just… seems so effortless for you. I, um, not to be rude but I really can’t tell which one you are biologically. I’m thinking male, but- “, Niall was saying.

“Yeah”, Zayn said quietly, “biologically.” There was a short silence, which Harry broke.

“I keep telling you it doesn’t show at all”, he said. Zayn looked up to find Harry looking at Niall gently. Niall bit his lip and looked down at his beer bottle. He started peeling at the label.

“Wait what?” Louis asked loudly, kind of rudely.

“He’s trans. And he keeps thinking his binding is obvious, or that people have x-ray vision or something, and can see into his pants”, Harry scoffed.

“Wait, what?!” Louis got louder.

“Mate, it really doesn’t show”, Liam said, staring. Zayn nodded emphatically.

“Really, really doesn’t. I’m extremely jealous now. You can just bind and have a perfect chest, and I need to stuff weird things down my shirt to seem plausible”, he said. their eyes met, and Niall grinned widely.

“Grass is always greener”, he said, lifting up his drink. Zayn saluted him with his own, and then leaned back and relaxed into the sofa. He let out a long breath closing his eyes.

“Shit, you were actually nervous about meeting us like this?” Niall asked. Zayn nodded, eyes still closed.

“I mean, first and last time we met, I spent the night snogging Harry, without him knowing I’m fluid”, he said, glancing nervously at Harry. Harry just grinned, though, and Liam and Louis chuckled. Niall groaned.

“Mate, he’s just proper turned on now”, he said, “you’ve turned out to be even more exciting than he thought.” Zayn hid his blush into another sip, and Harry groaned and punched Niall in the arm.

“Huh”, Liam said then, looking thoughtful. Louis grinned at him.

“Yeah, kind of makes more sense now that you tried to be into guys, Ni”, he said, turning to grin at Niall.

“Yeah, doesn’t it”, he said, “I genuinely thought you all had figured out my secret, though.” Louis grinned at Zayn.

“I’m really surprised Harry didn’t figure you out, you two were snogging so thoroughly”, he said, wiggling his eyebrows. Zayn rolled his eyes.

“You know I tuck it”, he said, taking a sip. Liam grabbed his own crotch.

“God, I still can’t understand you with that. Never trying that again”, he said with a flinch. Zayn grinned at him.

“Can’t have it ruining the hemline of my mini skirt, can I?” he asked.

“It’s just too small to do that”, Louis said, shaking his head and sighing dramatically. Zayn blushed a bit, groaning.

“Yeah, only explanation why you can do it and we can’t. You’ve got to be much smaller”, Liam chimed in with a grin. Niall and Harry were laughing, now.

“For the record, we actually have a size chart somewhere, in Louis’ uni notes I think”, Zayn said. Liam and Louis grinned.

“Yeah yeah, you always feel the need to prove you’re around the same size with us”, Louis said with a wink.

“Lou, we’re the exact same length”, Zayn chuckled. Louis shrugged.

“Thickness is more important”, he said with a grin.

“Exact same thickness as Li’s”, Zayn pointed out.

“Nah, definitely the length that matters”, Liam said with a grin.

“You really have a comparison chart somewhere?” Harry asked with a wide grin. Zayn nodded.

“Not just that, it’s a very, very thorough comparison chart”, he said.

“We also compared colours and hardness levels”, Liam explained, nodding.

“There’s polaroids”, Louis said, taking a sip. Niall was practically crying by now; he was laughing so hard.

“Shit, that’s- “, he tried to say.

“Yeah, we’ve kind of compared, too”, Harry said with an amused frown.

“You’re naked all the time, and we don’t close the door showering. That doesn’t count as comparison”, Niall grinned. Harry took a sip of beer.

“Harry here could donate half his cock to me and we’d both have a decent amount of dick”, Niall said, shaking his head.

“Big hands, big dick?” Louis asked, eyeing Harry’s hands, and Harry lifted his up with a shrug and a grin.

“I can honestly say mine is bloody well too huge to hide”, he said.

“So yeah, big hands, big dick”, Liam said, nodding. Everybody laughed.

They got to the game and takeout, and new beers, eventually. At some point Zayn found himself alone with Niall in the kitchen, and their eyes met.

“Most of the time I’m fine with what I’ve got”, Zayn started saying, leaning back against the counter, and Niall copied him, nodding.

“But when I’m… when I’m a girl, it’s sometimes so bloody hard to be happy with it”, Zayn said. Niall nodded again, staring at the floor for a while.

“Would be great if we could switch or something”, he said with a lopsided grin. Zayn grinned back.

“I’m OK with it, mostly. But yeah, sometimes it’s so… unfair”, Niall said.

“And I feel like I’m asking for too much when I wish I was something else”, Zayn continued, nodding, “like I already have a functioning set of genitals, and I’m like so ungrateful with that, I dare to hope for even more.” Niall chuckled, then pat Zayn’s arm.

“Like I want it all”, Zayn said with a grin.

“Thought about breast implants?” Niall asked nonchalantly. Zayn cupped his chest, pretending to weigh a pair of breasts.

“Sometimes. I mean that’d be an easy addition”, he said truthfully. Niall grinned.

“I’m getting mine out soon”, he said. A smile instantly spread on Zayn’s face.

“Congrats”, he said. Niall blushed a bit.

“Not sure if I’m ready for more than that. But I’ve been on hormones since me and Harry snogged when we were like sixteen, and now I’ve finally got money for a boob job”, he said. Zayn had to pull him into a hug.

“So happy for you, mate”, he said. Niall chuckled into his shoulder.

“I was kind of jealous of all the snogging Harry got to do, you know”, he said. Zayn grinned at him when they pulled apart.

“But you’re straight”, he said, and Niall nodded.

“Yeah, definitely. But you make a very hot lady”, he said with a wink. Zayn grinned, and took Niall’s hand to pull him back into the living room. Harry glanced up at them and grinned.

“Bonded?” he asked.

“Yeah us genderqueers are now mates for life”, Niall announced, leaning in to peck Harry’s cheek, and then pushing Zayn over so he fell into Harry’s lap.

“Hey!” Zayn laughed. Louis and Liam, who’d been playing rolled their eyes at him.

“Just snog already, you both want to”, Louis said, passing his controller over to Niall, who started a new game with Liam. Zayn glanced back at Harry, met a shy smile, and smiled back. Instead of getting up as he was about to do, he settled down better into Harry’s lap.

“Might as well see how far we can go before you lot get awkward”, he said. Harry laughed, tentatively putting his hands on Zayn’s hips.

“Seen it all”, Louis said nonchalantly, leaning back with his hands behind his head.

“Doesn’t mean you’re completely fine with seeing me get off”, Zayn pointed out, leaning in to peck the corner of Harry’s mouth. Harry grinned and pecked his, back. It didn’t take long for them to dissolve into real kissing.

“Walked in on plenty of things with our Hazza”, Niall was saying in the background, and hearing that, Zayn realised he’d closed his eyes. He ran his fingers into Harry’s hair and relished the feel on a slight stubble and more angular features than what he’d got used to snogging with Perrie.

“Yeah, we’ve done our share of sharing, too”, Liam said. Louis chuckled.

“Especially when we were comparing”, he said.

“I mean, we also measured how small we can get and how fast we can get big from that. And, you know, comparing distance and amount of come, too, among other things”, Liam said. Niall was laughing along with them.

Zayn was really starting to lose himself in Harry’s mouth at that point already, and he pulled back to wiggle his eyebrows at Louis.

“Gone a bit further than just mutual wanking and comparing dicks, mate”, he said. Harry tugged his head back from his hair, and he went with a grin, melting his mouth against Harry’s eagerly. Harry groaned.

“Ok, ok, fair to say we’ve all basically blown each other”, Liam confessed.

“You said you hadn’t ever tried being with a guy”, Niall pointed out.

“No, it was purely for scientific purposes”, Louis said, laughing.

“Yeah that was never the point. I don’t remember what the point was, though”, Liam said with a grin in his voice.

“It wasn’t like a drunken thing?” Niall asked.

“No we were completely sober”, Louis said, “that was one of the points I guess.”

“As I recall it, I did it and you had to do it too. Just can’t recall the reason”, Liam said. Zayn pulled back again, and got up to change positions. He straddled Harry’s lap as he talked.

“Yeah, you remember it. The point was to see if you can make me come before I made you come”, he pointed out. Louis grinned at him.

“So you do remember”, he said. Zayn rolled his eyes, playing with Harry’s hair, Harry’s mouth latched onto his neck.

“Of course I do. I won over you both. Even though I had no experience”, Zayn said.

“Wait, Liam was your first blowjob?” Niall asked.

“I was his first hand job”, Louis said, sounding almost proud.

“Which one of you was his first fuck?” Niall asked, chuckling.

“Haven’t gone that far with a guy”, Zayn said, meeting Harry’s eyes, “yet.” Harry’s eyes fluttered closed and he let out a broken breath, his hips grinding up against Zayn’s.

“Don’t come on the sofa”, Niall laughed. Zayn dove back in and drowned the others’ voices out as he concentrated on the wet slide of lips and tongues, and on Harry’s fingers that had found their way under his shirt. His cock was throbbing in his jeans, and he was painfully conscious of Harry’s erection underneath him, as Harry’s hips kept making small movements that matched his little moans.

“Christ, you really are huge”, Zayn mumbled into his mouth, and suddenly the room erupted into laughter, making the two of them pull apart, breathing heavily, faces red and lips swollen.

“Get a room”, Louis said with a laugh, and Zayn glanced at him, then at his open bedroom door, and then got up and pulled Harry along with him as he made for the bed.

“Not that one!” Louis shouted, but it was too late. The bedroom door locked behind them, Zayn pushed Harry against the wall and continued snogging the life out of him. Harry’s moans got louder, and Zayn wasn’t exactly sure if it was for show before he pulled back and studied Harry’s flustered face.

“What is this?” Zayn asked.

“Anything”, Harry answered. Zayn grinned widely at him.

“Friends with benefits for start?” he asked. Harry nodded a few times, starting to walk Zayn backwards towards the bed. Zayn fell back on it and pulled Harry with him.

“Lou’s gonna kill us”, Zayn pointed out. Harry grinned widely.

“Don’t care one bit right now”, he said into Zayn’s neck.

When the two of them reappeared, the three others frowned at them.

“That fast?” Louis asked, glancing at his phone for the time. Zayn rolled his eyes.

“Been on the edge since we met, probably”, Harry said with a grin. Zayn glanced at him biting his lip.

“Yep”, he said, meeting Harry’s eyes.

“So you did actually fuck”, Liam said. Zayn grinned at Louis, who grimaced.

“Don’t worry, we didn’t mess your sheets”, he said.

“Yeah, we both swallowed”, Harry said, making the others groan.

“Too much information”, Liam shook his head.

“So”, Niall said when Zayn and Harry sat back down next to each other on the sofa.

“You said you’ve all basically blown each other”, he continued. Zayn grinned widely.

“They had to do it to each other to see for themselves which one is better at it”, he said.

“That we did do drunk”, Louis pointed out. Liam scrunched up his nose.

“Kind of regret that one”, he said. Louis nodded.

“Kind of, yeah”, he said with a laugh.

“You don’t regret Zayn then?” Niall asked.

“No, um, he was Veronica at the time”, Louis said. It was always a bit awkward to refer to a past Zayn when it wasn’t the same gender as the present. Zayn hummed to himself.

“But you… blew Veronica?” Niall asked with a frown.

“Mate, I’ve still got a cock, not a clit. Hate it when people refer to my genitals as something other than they are”, Zayn said, glancing quickly at Harry. Harry grinned widely.

“Good to know. For the future”, he said. Zayn rolled his eyes at Louis and Liam’s groans.

“Probably wouldn’t have minded him instead of her, though”, Liam confessed. Louis grinned at him.

“I know, right! I mean, that mouth, god”, he said.

“I know”, Harry grinned, pecking Zayn’s cheek, and Zayn chuckled. He wasn’t feeling as male as before, all of a sudden, and it made his skin crawl a bit. He excused himself to the toilet, and once there, took a few deep breaths before turning his wristband half over.

Zayn splashed their face with water, and fought the urge to vomit. They would always feel horrible and awkward when the change happened in the middle of the day. Waking up in one gender was straightforward, but suddenly feeling like you were in completely the wrong clothes and body, that was upsetting.

After another few deep breaths, Zayn glanced up at their face and nodded. They were okay again. Not good, yet, but okay. Some time just sitting next to their friends while they all chatted or played games would make them feel better, and after a while they’d be okay to take part in all that again.

Stepping out, they met Harry’s eyes briefly. They plastered on a smile as Harry turned back towards the TV.

“They’re back”, he said. Zayn shivered and almost stopped in their tracks. Louis and Liam perked up at that, both turning around and their eyes zoning in on Zayn’s wristband.

“Oh, Zaynie, you OK?” Louis asked, sounding worried. Harry and Niall turned to frown at them as they walked around the sofa and took their spot next to Harry back.

“Yeah, ‘m fine”, they mumbled. Then they felt Harry’s hand on their own.

“Anything we can do?” he asked. Zayn felt a blush form on their face.

“Nah”, they said quietly. In an instant, though, Louis and Liam were both on top of them, hugging them tight. Suddenly Niall and Harry joined in, and Zayn chuckled from beneath them all.

“Really, I’m fine. It’ll be good in a while, just, right now I’m feeling a bit weird in my skin”, they said. Everybody pulled back at their own pace, and Harry’s hand attached itself to Zayn’s.

“Really, there’s nothing to do. It’ll pass in a bit”, Zayn mumbled.

“Shut up, you’ve told us closeness helps”, Louis scoffed. Harry moved closer and put his arm around Zayn. Zayn chuckled.

“Fine”, they chuckled, and smiled a little to themselves when they started to relax into Harry’s side.

 

It only took a couple of weeks. Hanging out with Harry and Niall was so much fun, they fit in the group so well, and while Zayn and Niall had bonded over their gender issues, Niall was so clearly one of the lads with Louis and Liam, more than Zayn had ever been in some ways. And while Harry fit in with them too, he fit in even better with just Zayn.

Specifically, he fit in Zayn’s arms, in his lap, in his bed, like a puzzle piece slotting into place in his life. He didn’t even have to talk about it to Harry. It just suddenly became clear.

The group was out in a pub, Eleanor and Danielle chatting about girl things, Liam and Harry chatting about boy things, Harry leaning onto Zayn on one side and Louis on the other, Zayn having pulled both into his arms, playing with Louis’ hair and chatting with him. Niall was sitting on Louis’ other side, with one of his legs hanging between his own, taking part in Liam and Harry’s conversation every now and then, and Louis and Zayn’s every now and then.

Then suddenly, a girl Zayn vaguely recognised as Louis’ workmate came up to them to say hi.

“Babs”, Louis grinned, “You remember Eleanor, right? And that’s Danielle, Liam’s girlfriend.”

“Hi”, Barbara said with a smile and a wave, “Liam and Zayn I remember, and Niall just started with us, right?”

“Right. And that’s Harry”, Niall said, “Zayn’s boyfriend.”

Apparently Louis noticed Zayn tense up a bit at that, and turned his head to look at him. Zayn bopped him on the head.

A little while later, when Barbara had sat down and become completely engrossed in a conversation with all the others, Zayn gently squeezed Harry’s side in a silent question. Harry turned to look at him, placed a kiss on the corner of his mouth, and smiled. So they were together now.

 

The very next day Harry and Zayn ran into Harry’s sister Gemma downtown. Zayn had been feeling off for a while and so they almost went into a full blown panic attack right there and then. Harry squeezed their hand, though, and started to introduce them.

Halfway through the sentence, though, Zayn started fiddling with her wristband. This was the worst moment ever for something like this to happen. She was dressed way too boyish for how she was feeling, but that was usually fine. Just, right now, it was definitely not. Because this was Harry’s sister, and she was going to hate Zayn.

Zayn barely had time to regret turning over the wristband, when Harry lifted their joined hands a bit to glance down at it. He’d just said Zayn was his partner, but now he glanced into Zayn’s eyes and fixed the sentence.

“I mean my girlfriend”, Harry said with a smile so wide Zayn couldn’t help but relax a little. She ventured a glance at Gemma who was smiling at her.

“Nice to meet you”, she said. Zayn just nodded, not able to say a thing, and swallowed air, feeling increasingly worse.

“We were just going to sit down at that café”, Harry said, even though they weren’t, and Gemma readily joined them as they walked in. Harry gave Zayn a gentle push towards the toilets, and Zayn barely made it in before she threw up. After a while of contemplating if she was going to do it again she decided not to, and got up to wash her face a bit.

Just as she was staring at herself, seeing a young man instead of the woman she felt like, there was a gentle knock on the door.

“Zee?”

Zayn opened the door to let Harry in, and was instantly enveloped in a hug.

“You threw up?” Harry asked. Zayn nodded, trying to hide her face, but Harry just shook his head and dug into his pockets. He produced some chewing gum and made Zayn drink some water before giving it to her.

“Feeling better? That timing was shitty”, Harry said, going for a lighter mood, and Zayn took a deep breath before she nodded. She turned back to stare miserably at the mirror, and Harry smiled at her in it.

“You’re always the prettiest, Zee”, he said. Zayn blushed a bit, and shook her head.

“Just, feel weird”, she said, glancing down. Harry’s hands found her hips from behind.

“Tuck it?” he asked quietly, and Zayn bit her lip.

“I’ll fix your hair differently if you want”, Harry grinned in the mirror, as Zayn’s eyes met his. She huffed out a small laugh.

“Don’t want to keep your sister waiting”, she said. Harry shook his head.

“This is important”, he said. And so they spent a little while in the bathroom, basically just tucking Zayn with the help of the thong system she always had in a pocket somewhere, and letting her hair down all wavy instead of keeping it up in an inconspicuous, rushed-looking bun.

When they emerged, Gemma was apparently entertained by her phone, giggling at it while sipping her drink. Zayn sat down and found herself with a pleasantly cooled coffee Harry had apparently got her.

“Sorry”, Gemma said as she put her phone down, “You OK? You looked a bit pale earlier.” Zayn nodded.

“Better now”, she said quietly.

“Darling, I get it, meeting the family out of the blue like that can be terrifying. Especially if you’ve only officially gone out for a day”, Gemma said, rolling her eyes at Harry. Zayn frowned a bit at him, and a beautiful blush spread over his face.

“You wanted to make it official earlier”, she said. Harry shrugged, but Zayn could feel a smile spreading on her own face as she slid a hand into Harry’s.

“Me too”, she confessed, and Harry’s brilliant smile blinded her for a moment. Zayn glanced back at Gemma, a bit embarrassed, but Gemma was grinning at her brother, and launched into a teasing tale about him, which made him groan and hide his face. Zayn wasn’t fully concentrating on the story, though, not after a mention of Niall in it. She had just realised that as Harry and Niall had known each other for ages, Gemma would obviously know about Niall’s gender, and be OK with things like that. And it wasn’t just that fact that reassured her. It was also the fact that Harry was Harry, and Gemma was obviously all right with whatever he was, if they were this close.

Zayn felt so much better about herself by the time her cup was half empty, she knew she wouldn’t mind telling Gemma. Then the conversation naturally steered towards Niall’s upcoming surgery.

“He’s so nervous about it, and so excited. It’s so cute”, Harry grinned.

“Nothing cute about surgery”, Gemma shuddered.

“Yeah, he said he wants to get this done before he even thinks about the other one”, Harry said. His hand found Zayn’s thigh, and Zayn smiled to herself.

“I thought about getting boobs, but then I figured it’d be kind of annoying to always have to bind or tuck something”, she said a bit quietly. Harry looked a bit surprised, but his smile was brilliant again, as he leaned in for a peck. Gemma looked more surprised, obviously. There was a moment’s silence, then she shook her head, but Zayn was feeling confident enough in the situation that she didn’t think Gemma was being negative about the whole thing.

“No, now you’ve completely confused me. You’re trans?” she asked. Zayn grinned, a bit self-depreciating.

“Fluid”, she shrugged, not really knowing how far she should explain things. Gemma’s face lit up, though.

“Ah, it’s that box”, she said, making Zayn frown a bit. Harry’s hand found hers.

“Gemma doesn’t believe in putting yourself in any kind of box. Doesn’t matter to her what anyone’s gender or sexuality is, she figures people should just be people and not worry about definitions”, he said. Zayn nodded slowly.

“I think I get that. But to me, it was freeing to find a definition. It, like, made me think there’s others out there like me, instead of me being this weird thing”, she said.

“You’re still weird”, Harry winked, “but yeah, I mean, I’ll say I’m pansexual, basically just because people seem to want a box to put me in, and that’s the most freeing box there is.” Zayn grinned.

“Guess so”, she said.

“I’m not trying to undermine what the definition means to you”, Gemma said, looking a bit embarrassed or worried. Zayn nodded.

“I figured”, she said.

“It’s just that… you know, people have to meet others and go ‘hi, I’m Gemma, I’m cis vegetarian’ or something like that”, Gemma said, rolling her eyes. Zayn had to giggle at that, and Harry was laughing too. Gemma smiled apologetically.

“I mean you look androgynous, and when Harry said girlfriend, I figured you’re either trans or a masculine girl. Doesn’t really matter to me though, I mean, I suppose it might matter if I were to sleep with you or something, but other than that, it’s none of my business, right?” she said.

“Gemma once dated a trans man without realising he was trans. Was quite the surprise when he had only done top surgery”, Harry grinned. Zayn had to giggle again.

“I’m assuming you’re straight, though”, she pointed out. Gemma shrugged.

“Yeah, well, I wasn’t going to run out of there screaming. So I went for it, was an interesting experience, but not one I particularly feel like having again. We tried to make it work after, but it was kind of weird being so into him in every other way, but then in the bedroom it was mostly not a turn on at all. He’d been with an asexual before me, though, so he just figured we’d skip the sex part and be OK, he’d done it before. For me that just didn’t work”, she said. Zayn nodded, grinning a bit.

“You need some definitions to explain things, though. Like asexual or trans”, she said. Gemma grinned back.

“Granted, it’s a bit more convenient. But I try to avoid it. Like, I could’ve said his ex hadn’t been into sex, instead of that term. But you got me there, it’s quicker to use in a sentence. Even if it doesn’t explain all the intricacies of that particular person”, she said.

“The point is, it’s kind of OK to refer to people based on looks, like you say ‘the black guy’ if there was only one black guy present in the situation you’re talking about, or ‘the guy with a yellow shirt’, or things like that. Like, I try to use clothes or hair or whatever instead of skin colour and stuff, but it doesn’t always work. It gets really annoying if people keep referring to you as ‘the pansexual’ or ‘the one with the trans friend’. I prefer Curly, really”, Harry grinned. Zayn nodded with a smile.

“I get that. Being genderqueer usually only gets me a ‘the weird one’ or ‘the confused one’, or trans, yeah, but unless I’m being really feminine I don’t get much crap. Being androgynous seems fine by people, and again, unless I’m being really feminine I don’t mind the masculine pronouns. I know saying ‘they’ can be difficult, but obviously that would be better”, she said, shrugging.

“That’s one place where I always seem to offend people. It’s kind of annoying to ask for people to change the way they talk. I mean obviously if I know what to say, I’ll use it. Like, when Harry told me to change for Niall, I did. But it really irks me when people get offended if I use the pronoun that seems to be correct from where I stand. People make assumptions based on looks, so, yeah…

“God, I don’t mean to offend you, sorry. But, like I said, you look androgynous, but you’re dressed kind of more masculine, so I would’ve gone with ‘he’. But then Harry said ‘girlfriend’, where before he’d just referred to you by your name, basically. I didn’t even think about pronouns before I met you myself, but I basically figured I’d go with ‘she’ because he said ‘girlfriend’”, Gemma said. Zayn shrugged again.

“For me it’s extra difficult because I’m fluid, so it changes, and I’m more comfortable with ‘he’ and ‘she’ if I’m really on those ends of the scale. Mostly it’s something in between, though, so mostly ‘they’ is the way to go. I won’t be offended if you decide to stick to that”, she said. Gemma looked thoughtful, narrowing her eyes at her for a moment.

“Actually, now that I have such a genderfluid box in front of me, I’d like to ask you something”, she said.

“God, Gemma, don’t make her hate me”, Harry said with a laugh. Gemma grinned his way, and Harry squeezed Zayn’s hand.

“You can ignore her”, he said, but Zayn just smiled.

“And pass up an opportunity to educate ignorant people on genders?” she said with a wink. Gemma and Harry laughed.

“So”, Zayn said, turning to Gemma.

“So”, Gemma said, “I’m trying to phrase this nicely, but I don’t think I’ll succeed.” Zayn grinned, stroking Harry’s fingers in hers, on her thigh under the table.

“Gender is largely a social construct, right? The society you’re living in tells you what colours are girly and what boyish, and what kind of things men need to do to be manly, and that girls need to shave and use make up”, Gemma said. Zayn shrugged, and nodded.

“So, I mean, why can’t you just be a rough girl, or a sensitive boy, or whatever?” Gemma asked, looking kind of worried that she might really offend Zayn. Zayn just grinned, though.

“When I’m feeling male, it’s all good and normal. I have all the right parts and I kind of get what you’re saying. But it’s… when I’m a girl, like now, I feel all wrong. I feel like I should have parts that I don’t have, and I feel the need to otherwise express being feminine. Like you can’t actually tell what I have down my pants but I feel like I should also dress the part so others would know what I am and how to react to me, so I’m actually very uncomfortable in my clothes now”, she said. Harry stroked her hand soothingly.

“When I’m male I feel like wearing clothes that are designated for males. Whether that’s because society says they’re male clothes or I feel like it… well, I don’t necessarily care. It’s more about expressing my maleness in a way people around me will understand I’m male. Mostly I wear androgynous stuff, no matter what gender I feel like, but when I’m feeling really masculine I wear more masculine clothes. When I’m feeling really girly, I wear skirts. You can probably relate to that, though. Like, skirts or jeans, doesn’t really matter, but in a way it does. You choose skirts or ruffles or pink when you’re feeling more girly”, Zayn said. Gemma nodded slowly.

“I have days I feel more like being really, really girly, and days when I want to just pull on an old sweater and not care at all about how it looks”, she said thoughtfully.

“Emotionally I’m the same. I cry when I’m a boy and I play rough sports when I’m a girl. But it’s not just about expressing things and switching that between male and female standards. I feel physically wrong when I’m a girl, and right when I’m a boy. When I’m something in between, I’m most comfortable with everything. I can be boyish and girly and I only feel kind of… wistful about female organs”, Zayn said with a laugh. Harry pecked her cheek.

“Your voice changes”, he said. Zayn turned to him, surprised.

“What?” she asked.

“You go higher when you’re a girl and lower when you’re a boy. When you’re something in between, that’s what I’d say is your, like, normal range even if you sometimes go higher and sometimes lower”, Harry said, demonstrating with his hands. Zayn stared at him.

“Never noticed that”, she said, her voice cracking a bit since she was suddenly aware of it. She glanced at Gemma, who was smiling.

“I’ve kind of assumed that fully trans people feel awkward in their bodies, like I know Niall does, but I thought genderfluidity was something like people thinking they can’t be a man when they’re feeling something society categorizes as girly”, she said slowly. Zayn huffed out a laugh and shrugged.

“I think there might be people who put themselves in that box for those reasons, too. Like you’re a tomboyish girl so you figure, maybe you’re not fully a girl after all. I don’t really care why people define themselves the way they do, but for me it’s very physical. I threw up just now because I was suddenly feeling so wrong in my body. I was between the two genders right before we ran into you”, she said. Gemma’s eyes widened.

“I thought you looked pale”, she said. Zayn shrugged.

“Don’t often actually throw up. That was probably the combination of running into you and that happening. Usually I just feel bad and uneasy, you might say queer, for a while”, she said, grinning. Gemma smiled back.

“I mean, it’s not the same for everyone. Like I know this girl who figured she’s fine with ‘she’ and feels like ‘they’ is artificial, and she’s closer to female on the spectrum anyway, and she doesn’t get these intense physical effects. She says sometimes it kind of hurts that she doesn’t have what she feels like she should have. Like she’s missing bits, and I get that too, just more intense I suppose. Mostly, for her, it’s apparently so that she stuffs something in her pants and pretends, or she has dreams where she’s male. To the outside world, she’s probably seen as a tomboyish girl, and she’s fine with that other than with her closest circle of people”, Zayn tried to explain.

“And I know this guy who’s fine with ‘he’ even though he’s never actually fully on that end of the spectrum, always in between. Some people say he’s bigendered or agendered and not fluid, but, I mean, no one can tell you what you are. He’s the only one who knows properly. Outwards, it seems like he feels like he can’t be cute as a boy, so he says he’s more female when he dresses or acts in a cute way. Like, you might say feminine guy or masculine girl, and he would bypass that and just say girl and guy in that same order. Like there was no such thing as a feminine guy for him. But that’s only outward. I can’t pretend to know him enough to guess what’s actually going on with his body or mind”, she said.

“You’ve given me something to think about”, Gemma said, sipping the rest of her drink.

“I’ve never bothered to think so deeply into all that, either. I’m just me, and other people are what they are. I like to wear clothes that are considered feminine, and I like my hair long. I cry and cook and clean, I love taking care of kids and I occasionally wear makeup. But I’ve never felt like my body was somehow wrong. Like, I might say I’m a feminine guy, but I’m most definitely a guy, so I get why people need to make those distinctions”, Harry said.

“I’ve mostly concentrated on the fact that people think they don’t fit the societal norms, but, I mean, I can’t imagine how horrible it would feel if you feel like you don’t fit your own body in such a profound way. I’m not comfortable in my skin if I gain a pound, let alone if I had the wrong set of genitals”, Gemma said. Zayn smiled and nodded, finishing her drink. Harry finished his and got up, so apparently they were going to continue on their way now. Zayn and Gemma followed Harry up and out of the coffee place quietly.

“No wonder you sometimes throw up”, Gemma said. She hugged Harry, and then Zayn, pecking both their cheeks.

“It was very nice to meet you”, she said as she waved and left, with a wide, Harry-ish smile. Zayn turned to Harry when she felt a hand take hers, and met the real Harry smile. Her mouth turned into a smile as well.

“Still wanna go see that record store? It’ll still be there tomorrow, if you’d rather go home and slip into something more comfortable, or something”, Harry said. Zayn shrugged.

“To be honest I’m kind of drained right now. I’d rather just get home and relax”, she said. Harry nodded and turned them, starting on their way to Zayn’s.

“I feel like relaxing, too. Especially if I can do that relaxing in your arms”, he said with a grin. Then the grin dropped.

“Unless you’d rather be alone?”

“I’d love to cuddle up with you for a bit, love”, Zayn grinned, making Harry grin and duck his head.

“God, you… I’m so proud of you right now. I thought it might take you a while to warm up to the topic if you even wanted it to come up. And don’t get me wrong, it’s not my place, so I wouldn’t have said anything to her without your permission or whatever. But I kind of assumed you would want me to, like, tell her privately, and make her use the right pronouns or something”, he said, “Like I don’t know why but I had no idea you’d be open for deep discussions like that with someone who’s not in your inner circle.”

Zayn stopped them and leaned in for a real kiss. Harry responded with a laugh.

“I’m mostly comfortable with myself. Finding that box helped me a lot with coming to terms with who I am, so I’m more than happy to discuss it with reasonable people. The transition just threw me off a little”, Zayn said. Harry grinned, kissed her again and then pulled her along.

“You’re amazing, you know that?” he said as they went.

 

Zayn was versatile, very sexual, and happy to try new things in bed. Harry was more of a bottom, but he gave good as well, and he was certainly sexual and more than eager to try new things. So in general, they were a great match sexually. That said, Zayn was feeling a bit awkward when they first had sex with her being a girl.

The few people she’d been with had asked outright what she wanted her genitals to be called during sex, or what she preferred to be done to them. Even Liam and Louis had, during their comparison experiments. Harry did not. Didn’t even hesitate. Just dove right in and did what he usually did. Only this time Zayn noticed what he was saying.

“Love your nipples”, Harry mumbled as he mouthed them, making Zayn arch into the warm touch.

“Want to lick you”, Harry breathed into her skin when he got down enough, his lips hot against Zayn’s perineum. When Zayn whined an affirmative, it wasn’t her cock that was enveloped in wet warmth, it was her arsehole.

“Fuck”, she breathed when she could catch a breath again, already feeling close as Harry worked his tongue all over the place.

“Love how you feel”, Harry breathed before diving right back in, holding Zayn’s legs open.

It was surprisingly easy to slip into a fantasy where Zayn’s cock didn’t exist, and Harry was licking something else. He’d be gently running his tongue and fingers around her folds, finding the clitoris and working it gently, slow at first, or with broader swipes, and then increasingly faster and stronger.

Harry’s other hand moved up until it met with a nipple, and the zing that sent through Zayn made her so close she whimpered. Harry would be doing that, too, and maybe cupping a breast, but the nipples were the sensitive part anyway, so that part was fine as it was.

So far, Harry had not touched Zayn’s cock at all, and she was already so bloody close, twisting her fingers in Harry’s long hair and losing herself to the fantasy as Harry’s other hand joined his tongue, sliding a wet finger in, and then another shortly afterwards.

“Oh, fuck”, Zayn whimpered as she came suddenly, pulses of come hitting her stomach and chest, and Harry’s hair. In no time Harry was up on top of her, tugging frantically on his cock. Zayn didn’t have time to touch him before he came with a loud moan, all over Zayn’s chest.

“God that was hot”, Harry whimpered as he collapsed next to Zayn on the bed, and curled up around her, not caring one bit about the mess.

“You didn’t ask me what I wanted”, was all Zayn could piece together with her orgasm-drunk brain. Even that came out slurred, but it seemed to jolt Harry.

“I’m sorry, I— “, he said, leaning up on an elbow, but Zayn pulled him down into a kiss.

“I mean, you’re the first one ever to treat my body like it’s normal, instead of asking and making sure I’m OK with things”, she whispered. Harry gave her a tentative smile, and pushed her hair behind an ear.

“I figured you’d want to at least imagine you had a different set of genitals, and that it’s a bit hard to do that if you’re reminded of what you do have. I probably should’ve asked something, but, um, I was pretty sure I might be able to make you come from that alone if you could lose yourself in it properly”, he said quietly.

“Mission accomplished. That was my first anal orgasm with a partner”, Zayn said with a grin. Harry laughed and pecked her hair. He maneuvered them around a bit so that he was being held in Zayn’s arms, his head on her chest.

“Thought you might be OK with a blowjob, too, but I kind of had the feeling you wouldn’t want to be reminded of having a cock”, Harry said. Zayn grinned.

“Well, my best girl sex before this was when my ex, Perrie, tried to get into the whole lesbian thing and fucked me with a vibrator. My worst was when a guy just basically fucked my mouth and called me a bitch, a whore, and called my arse a tight little pussy that was wet for him”, she said. Harry made a noise that sounded like a cross between a laugh and an angry growl.

“I was kind of assuming if you’re a girl, you’d bottom and I’d get to try and make you come without touching your dick. But we probably should’ve talked about it earlier. I just thought it would kill the mood if I started talking about that just now”, he said. Zayn grinned at the ceiling and stroked Harry’s hair.

“God I love you so much”, she breathed. Then she tensed up a bit, as she hadn’t exactly meant to say it this soon, but Harry didn’t tense up. On the contrary, he surged up to kiss Zayn, beaming as he pulled back.

“I love you”, he said, diving right back in. Zayn giggled into the kiss, but tangled herself up in the Harryness of Harry, heart swelling with love for her ridiculous boyfriend.

“I love it that you’re so thoughtful, but it’s not just that, it’s that you actually get me. I mean, others have been thoughtful, but their way of going about it has been wrong for me. You fit me”, Zayn said when Harry was back in her arms, hair being stroked and practically purring.

“I love that we fit. I’ve felt that we fit ever since I met you as Veronica”, he mumbled into her chest.

“Me too. We just instantly clicked in some ways”, Zayn said.

“And the more time I spent with you, the more time I wanted to”, Harry said.

“Plus we seem to be very compatible in bed”, Zayn said matter-of-factly. Harry snorted.

“That’s always a plus”, he said, then lifted his head.

“But I’d want to be with you even if you didn’t want sex, or didn’t want it while you were a specific gender, or whatever”, he said. Zayn cocked her head at him.

“Yeah, that’s not going to happen, I like it way too much”, she said. Harry grinned and ducked to peck her pecs.

“You’re gorgeous”, he sighed happily, before settling back into her arms.

“You know, my last girlfriend liked to question my masculinity or something if I tried to be the little spoon. I love to be cuddled. Doesn’t make me any less of a man. So yeah, I’m extremely happy that we’re cuddle-compatible as well”, he said. At Zayn’s disbelieving huff of a laughter, Harry huffed out a laugh as well.

“She had me kind of halfway convinced, too, since I was kind of… blinded by my crush or her prettiness or whatever. But then Niall showed up once when I was feeling down, and he just took a look at me, pulled me into his lap and didn’t let me up before I nearly peed myself. Said I looked like I needed a good cuddle”, he said.

“I love Niall”, Zayn said, kissing Harry’s hair. Harry laughed.

“Oh, apparently you just say that to all hot guys”, he said, kissing Zayn’s abs this time. Zayn grinned at the top of his head, and just continued stroking down his body from where his hair ended.

“Nah, I love Lou and Li and Ni, and I like the girls, too, especially when I’m feeling more girly myself. I love Perrie, but she’s long since just been my best girl. I love you on a whole different level. Like stardust and unicorns and angels and shit”, she said. Harry laughed again.

“No, actually that sounds more like how you love the guys”, he said. Zayn grinned.

“No, yeah, you’re right. That does sound more like Louis”, she said.

“I’d love to meet Perrie, though”, Harry said quietly, like he was testing the waters or something. Zayn frowned.

“Actually I’m kind of surprised you haven’t. Or, well, not that surprised since she’s in a new relationship and probably having almost as much sex as we are”, she said, laughing. Harry started drawing on her abs with the hand not stuck between their bodies.

“I mean, I want to meet her because she’s your best girlfriend, but I also want to meet her because I’m slightly jealous in a way that she has a history with you and— “, Harry mumbled. Zayn gathered Harry properly into her arms and pulled him up for a kiss.

“No need to be jealous but I get it. And you’ll meet her soon”, she said, “and you and me will make a whole lot of history together, so no worries about that.”

“You’re perfect for me”, Harry said. He yawned, and a couple of moments later Zayn could hear his breathing even out. She smiled at the ceiling and closed her eyes, only to be startled awake by the flat door slamming and Louis’ loud voice being heard over a multitude of shoes.

“Curly, Zee, get your clothes back on, we’ve got pizza and FIFA!”


End file.
